Chapter One: Gaia
Have you ever noticed how the big decisions come to you in an instant? How when the serious questions roll around, the answers are right there at your fingertips? In the moment, you just know. And in that one moment, everything changes.

Don't believe me? Let's use an example that's close to home: my decision to move to California after high school graduation. It would be the understatement of the year to say that I did not overthink that choice. In fact, it was a pretty spur-of-the-moment thing. After all that had happened, I needed to start fresh. I stopped off to visit my brother in Ohio, and from there I just kept heading west. See? Split-second decision. I hopped on a Greyhound, and everything changed.

Now I have a choice again. And it's not something I get to ponder extensively. A few days ago I was dismissed from the FBI on the grounds of an inability to...well, there's some technical gobbledygook that I'm sure you could read if you pulled my file, but the gist was that I wasn't so much a "team player." I wasn't big on the rules. Nope, my weird, combative, superhero delusions that had essentially kept me alive for my entire high school career were in fact a huge detriment here at Quantico. Here there are procedures, policies, protocol -- and I've never been much for protocol. Agent Malloy knew I'd have problems with the rules and regulations. He doubted my suitability for the program right from the get-go. But he gave me a chance anyway. And then, even when I proved him wrong, against the odds he gave me yet another opportunity at Quantico.

I thanked him, obviously, but there's no way that he knew how much this second chance meant to me. Actually, it was much more than a second chance. It was probably a third chance, to be honest.

Anyway, when the FBI asked me to apply for their training program, to officially become a lunatic-terrorist stopper, I accepted immediately. I made the decision in a heartbeat and my whole existence turned on a dime.

Agent Malloy is offering me another show of faith. He's telling me he's willing -- no, maybe even eager -- to have me investigate Ann's murder case. Because I was there, because I was in the room with the killer, because I adhered to procedure the moment I realized something, anything, was going down. It's not going to be easy, working her case while also training with the rest of the new agents in training -- the NATs. But I've got to do it. There's no question about that.

Quantico is the closest thing I've got to a home. All of my skills, strengths, and talents -- for once I don't have to downplay them or be embarrassed about them. For once they're an asset that others respond to and admire. And for once I'm not the only would-be superhero. The other NATs, they're not like me. They experience fear. But the flip side of that is, unlike me, they're endlessly brave. And with them I'm going to learn to experience courage, to push myself out of my comfort zone, to play nice with others. I want to catch Ann's murderer. I want to catch all the murderers. I want to fit in here. I want to be here.

It's that simple. It has to be. For starters, if I'm not here...then where the hell am I? What else do I have?

Things are different now. I'm different now. I'm fitting in. I'm even making friends. And Agent Malloy is offering me another chance. Am I going to take it?

Hell, yeah.

I'm going to take it. I'm going to take the case, and train, and I'm going to redirect the course of my life. It's a no-brainer.

See what I mean? The day-to-day BS may bog us down, but the big things? Those don't need much contemplation at all.